The Hogwash Junction Function
From the album Betty Hutton at the Saints & Sinners Ball
Written by Pleasant Joseph and Peter Wendell
© 1959 Warner Bros Music Co.

Released on Warner Bros WS-1267
Recorded 1959
Music Arranged and Conducted by Jerry Fielding
Background Vocals by the Jack Latimer Singers
Running Time: 2 mins 39 secs

Lyrics:
Last Winter about half past Fall
I took a trip to that old town hall
And everybody was having a ball
At the Hogwash Junction Function

Last week we drank some ethyl gasoline
Mixed it up with some ketchup and some kerosene
Put it all together in the washing machine
At the Hogwash Junction Function

Gossiped all night with Sister Brown
Uncle Ezra wore that fuzzy frown
Jack and Jill, well they started to fight
It didn’t make no difference
It rocked all night

Somebody flipped when Jill told Jack,
"I’m flying like a moth on a donkey’s back
And I’m tighter than an oyster in a crocker sack"
At the Hogwash Junction Function

Hogwash Junction Function
Hogwash Junction Function
Hogwash Junction Function
At the Hogwash Junction Function

While Deacon Jones did a dance with Ezra Brown’s girl
Old Uncle Ollie, the poor looser, he got up and he took a whirl
Brother Brown where he flipped her that boogie beat
And the cook got drunk and he burned the meat

I knew the party was a huge success
When the band started playing “How About That Mess?”
And they flipped and they flopped
And they couldn’t stop
At the Hogwash Junction Function

Hogwash Junction Function
Hogwash Junction Function
Hogwash Junction Function
At the Hogwash Junction Function

Man they were hittin’ and missin’
And huggin’ and kissin’
They was moochin’ and smoochin’
And snatchin’ and scratchin’
They was pinchin’ and clinchin’
And jabbin’ and grabbin’
They was hockin’ and sockin’
And shufflin’ and scufflin’
They was diddlin’ and daddlin’
And prinnin’ and paddlin’
They was smockin’ and pokin’
And they wasn’t jokin’
Man, they was havin’ a good time!

Everyone’s invited and they come one and all
Some wicked function
At the Hogwash Junction Function