The Hogwash Junction Function From the album Betty Hutton at the Saints & Sinners Ball Written by Pleasant Joseph and Peter Wendell © 1959 Warner Bros Music Co. Released on Warner Bros WS-1267 Recorded 1959 Music Arranged and Conducted by Jerry Fielding Background Vocals by the Jack Latimer Singers Running Time: 2 mins 39 secs Lyrics: Last Winter about half past Fall I took a trip to that old town hall And everybody was having a ball At the Hogwash Junction Function Last week we drank some ethyl gasoline Mixed it up with some ketchup and some kerosene Put it all together in the washing machine At the Hogwash Junction Function Gossiped all night with Sister Brown Uncle Ezra wore that fuzzy frown Jack and Jill, well they started to fight It didn’t make no difference It rocked all night Somebody flipped when Jill told Jack, "I’m flying like a moth on a donkey’s back And I’m tighter than an oyster in a crocker sack" At the Hogwash Junction Function Hogwash Junction Function Hogwash Junction Function Hogwash Junction Function At the Hogwash Junction Function While Deacon Jones did a dance with Ezra Brown’s girl Old Uncle Ollie, the poor looser, he got up and he took a whirl Brother Brown where he flipped her that boogie beat And the cook got drunk and he burned the meat I knew the party was a huge success When the band started playing “How About That Mess?” And they flipped and they flopped And they couldn’t stop At the Hogwash Junction Function Hogwash Junction Function Hogwash Junction Function Hogwash Junction Function At the Hogwash Junction Function Man they were hittin’ and missin’ And huggin’ and kissin’ They was moochin’ and smoochin’ And snatchin’ and scratchin’ They was pinchin’ and clinchin’ And jabbin’ and grabbin’ They was hockin’ and sockin’ And shufflin’ and scufflin’ They was diddlin’ and daddlin’ And prinnin’ and paddlin’ They was smockin’ and pokin’ And they wasn’t jokin’ Man, they was havin’ a good time! Everyone’s invited and they come one and all Some wicked function At the Hogwash Junction Function